Dating your spouse separated

His job and his paycheck are the same but his workload seems to have doubled. And why won't he discuss the details of that huge, time-consuming project he's now on?

He refuses to meet near his office for a late-night date, explaining that he can't be interrupted.

Does he tell you that you'll never be able to find someone else? If he's unwilling to seek professional help and stay straight, your situation will not improve until you pack up and go. But if he needs to constantly work them out with new-found friends instead of you, it may not be the right relationship for either of you. A relationship involves two people, each with his or her own voice. You suspect your partner has very real psychological or psychiatric problems and represents a possible threat to himself, you or others.

You've spoken with him, and perhaps even gone so far as to stage an intervention.

You spend a lot of your life thinking about, fretting over and just plain craving a solid relationship.

From first sight, you're wondering how you want any encounter with the opposite sex to play out-whether you hope to see them again or pray they'll never be able to track down your phone number.

He refuses to admit the problem or seek out professional help. Jennifer and Brad have been married for five years.

Their relationship seemed stable, but Jennifer has noticed changes in Brad's behavior the past seven months. Most were easily explained and just as easily dismissed. Your husband's been coming home from work everyday for the past ten years at 5 p.m., but recently he's pushing the arrival time to 9 p.m. Or maybe he use to go out with pals once a week and now he's stepping out three to four times a week, acting secretive and jumpy. Practical traded in the mini-van for a Dodge Viper and you're no longer invited to ride along.

Women are the most frequent targets by far: Every nine seconds a woman in the United States is being physically hurt by her husband or boyfriend. Everyone has a set of boundaries of acceptable behavior. If the person you care about the most doesn't believe in you, you'll have a hard time believing in yourself.When we did go home after, he went out by himself and didn’t come home for about three days. I was the one to say, “I don’t love you anymore,” that I wanted a divorce. It wasn’t that he didn’t know my deep unhappiness and dissatisfaction with our marriage but maybe he hadn’t taken our previous conversations seriously enough.When he arrived home, he arrived to a note that I had written to him that basically said, “If you can’t be a husband or a father, you can’t live here anymore.” And so he left. On the other hand, I felt if he’s not even going to be bothered to hang around the house at Christmas time with the kids, then staying together for the kids is hypocritical because he wasn’t around for the kids. “If you’re not going to be here for me or your children, then what the heck’s the point? I think he’d been expecting a list of behaviors that he could work on.Went and lived with his mother for awhile while we went through the proceedings to get officially divorced. I couldn’t give him that list because I felt that if I did, he might work on them and then expect everything to be OK.I felt it would never be OK and to ask him to work on our relationship would be deceptive, holding out false hope. we even went on a family vacation which I will forever remember as the worst vacation I’ve been on.

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